Lonely Girl Laments the System

With the homecoming of THE Chaplain approaching sometime soon, I probably should be writing about what life lessons were learned through out the ordeal.

But I am not, because something extraordinary happened. The last day of school (June 5), I did not make my son Ethan go to school.  It was the 8th grade graduation ceremony and awards were being given.
Parents like to go to those things and take photos.  Not me.  Not for Ethan.  And its not because I am not interested in his schooling.  Quite the opposite.

Several years ago, when I first started teaching, I was given a homeroom class which was considered by others a little difficult.  Before I go further, let me say, I loved these kids and they loved me.  We had a great 7th grade community and I was the one who took care of all the non studious details of school for them, in addition to teaching them Art and Science.

But there were a few students who were classically "unmotivated".  They did not care about completing assignments, or handing them in, or studying for tests.  The headmaster of the school sent me to an enlightening workshop.  It was taught by the guy who wrote this book.  http://www.amazon.com/The-Motivation-Breakthrough-Secrets-Tuned-Out/dp/0743289617

One of the illustrations he used was of a high school student, who upon the FIRST time EVER of having his work displayed on a bulletin board, excitedly brought his parents to see it.  It was a monumental thing to him, the achievement of being recognized for doing well.  There were tears of joy.  My retelling falls flat, but it was an inspirational story of how a teacher's legitimate acknowledgement of a student's work can make a huge difference. Especially for those kids who fall between the cracks.

The American classroom is set up so that a CERTAIN kind of learner can excel.  Since not all students are made to sit in a seat for seven hours and learn through either auditory or visual means, even if a student is intelligent, it does not mean he/she will do well.  Or even want to do well.  And in addition to this, a student who thinks they are "dumb" because they do not do well in the classroom, has a tendency to become a problematic student.  It is better to be thought "bad" than "dumb", its a cover up for some students to hide the fact that they dont think they can do well.

My son is the quiet kid in the classroom, and doesnt speak often.  He doesnt cause trouble. He slips through the cracks easily. In first grade he had a  teacher who placed him in the back of the room, near a window, and then she wondered why he  couldn't pay attention to her talking and lecturing. She thought he had a learning disability.  But the problem was that he was soooo bored.  I taught him how to read, she did not.  I sat down 10 minutes a night and worked through this big yellow book.  He did great.

In fifth grade, his teacher talked to him like he was dumb throughout the year.  You know the slow deliberate tone when you are not sure the listener is comprehending you.  She told him excitedly after he passed the End of Course (state) exam for math, "I am so proud of you, I didnt think you could pass."   REALLY? 

I lost my stomach for awards ceremonies when he was in elementary school.  One year, every student in his class got an acadamic award or achievement of some type, except three.  He was one who did not.  I realized then, how it must feel for him.  I asked him about it afterwards and he said "Whats the big deal about As and Bs?  You work really hard all year, and what do you get?  A piece of paper! Not worth the effort."  He doesnt realize that sometimes pieces of paper  are VERY important in life, but to a young boy who would rather be out there with a baseball stick, it doesn't seem to be important at all.

 I am not a supporter of giving every kid an award, that promotes mediocrity.  But every kid but three might promote mediocrity and in addition, push those who do average work even lower.

So, this year, he asked me if he could stay home and not go to 8th grade graduation.  And I said yes.  But I made a MISTAKE!  When I went to pick up his diploma, there was something unexpected in the envelope....

This is his FIRST academic excellence award EVER.

I could tell he was very pleased.  It was a HUGE thing for him.  This piece of paper was needed.  I am hoping that this encouragement motivates him to put an effort into high school.  He is smart, he just never believed he was since the classroom never worked for his learning style. 

This is a kid who watches science documentaries and can comprehend concepts such as rocket ships,  and colonization of other planets, among other deep subjects.   Now that he is beginning high school, he should have the tools which can help him succeed.  He just needed the motivation.  I have great appreciation for his history teacher for noticing his  natural love for the subject and acknowledging it.  

Later, we went to the book store.  He went to the philosophy and history section of the book store and picked out this.  We are reading it together and discussing the ideas.  He also needed glasses, who knows how long he couldn't see the board.  I told you he was quiet.....