The Return of Lonely Girl

A couple of months ago, when we thought that we were going to receive exciting news about a new adventure (we were up for a move)...we received news which were less than desirable.  Thee Chaplain (my dear husband) was going to be moved to another unit here on Fort Hood, and for the first nine months of the eighteen month assignment, he would be deployed to Korea.  (Not everyone has the wonderful privilege to be moved there as a family. It was not an option.)  If you know me, I like moving, and seeing new places, and house hunting, and everything that goes along with that.  So I was a little disappointed, but the staying here wasn't so bad.  This is a nice area, and I love my house and my friends here. The kids are stabilized, as well.

But the thought of a nine month separation, after a deployment last year, and the thought of being a single mom of teenagers for that long devastated me.  I know I am supposed to take it all in stride and accept whatever the Army gives us, but to be totally honest, initially I was not happy.  This how I felt..... I will call myself Silly Girl here.

A few years ago, in the height of the war, soldiers were deployed every other year.  But this is not then, and I am new to this life, I have not fully recovered from the last deployment.  And I was not even the one who went to war, so I know that I shouldn't be the one to complain. But, I know, sometimes it really is just as difficult, or more so, for the family at home.   The soldier has their mission to focus on, and they are busy flying around Afghanistan, seeking glory and honor, putting their life at risk for God and Country.  But those at home deal with kids who miss their dad or mom, they worry about the safety of their soldier, and of course everything goes wrong on the home front.  Last time, we had the Deadly Hailstorm of 2014, the second shooting on Ford Hood, and many other smaller catastrophes which you can read about in my older posts.  And long separations are not easy for any relationship, even for those people who have all the answers(please note irony in that statement) and help others with their marriages.

The purpose of this post is not to complain, although it may sound like I am whining. I know I have not dealt with half of what most of the military families have dealt with. Right now I have friends, whose spouses are deployed all over the world, some of them for a full year. 

I know that the kids and I will be fine, and it will be a chance for our characters to grow. Everyone knows that it is difficulty that make us stronger.

However, it IS nice to have a partner around the house to help you in times of trouble.  For example, one day, I was minding my own business, cooking something, like usual, and there was this huge, monstrous, poisonous SCORPION that decided to attack me. (Only in Texas....) I didn't see it, because I was concentrating on making perfect eggs, or something of the sort, but he did.  He saw it chasing me.  I mean, this thing wanted to poison me to death. 

Now, I would like to say that my dear husband did not hesitate at all to kill the beast about to harm me.   But we have been married for a while now, and for a very, very brief moment, he paused and thought about his options.

But, he did the truly courageous thing and grabbed the vacuum cleaner to kill the beast.  I drew him with a sword below, instead of a vacuum cleaner, because swords are cool.  And, if he had a sword, he would have used it in this situation.

 So, as you can see, he comes in useful. .He also signed up for a year contract with an exterminator the next day.  (If you know him, you know he doesn't like contracts or other people doing stuff around the house...he is diy all the way, so this was a huge step.)

My life right now is not about scorpions, its about teenagers.  Scorpions have nothing over the deadly venom of teenagers.  And I have very nice teenagers.  They are usually kind to each other,  and they are capable of having amazing deep conversations.  But, they ARE still teenagers. In addition, other difficulties have surfaced recently in our lives, which I don't have time to talk about here. Thee Chaplain is gifted with dealing with both the kids and situations, especially when my emotions get the better of me, he helps me put things in perspective.


Now, I know it doesn't help anyone to be defeated before the battle.  So, instead of sulking and being scared of the long nine months ahead of us, I decided that Lonely Girl will be have to make a comeback. During the last deployment, I wrote some blogposts concerning the adventures of Lonely Girl (who is really me, in case you didn't guess). Lonely Girl is a superhero of sorts.  She can tackle anything that comes along, and she is brave and strong.  Don't we all need an alter-ego at times to help us believe we can do difficult things?  So, here she is, LONELY GIRL... I think I have this under control, despite the misadventures and hurdles which may come this way.

Lonely Girl Misses The Chaplain..

So, I guess you could say that the Lonely Girl has been trying to keep her head above water, and hasn't written or read anything of value lately.  My brain is turning into essentially a  piece of mushy oatmeal.

But really today is all about my confession.  I am weak.  I AM DONE.   This whole deployment thing was novel at first in a tragically Jane Austen sort of way.  It was a challenge.  To take on sorrow and "THRIVE Not Just Survive" as they say around these Army lands. To deal with the pain of separation from your soul mate and become stronger because of the pain.  To function and run everything and fix everything and not get into any car accidents and to have everything perfect so that when he comes home he will say "you did such a great job, Baby"  and then he will plant a great big kiss on my lips for a job well done.  ( And I am completely aware of the previous sentence being a run on.  I was attempting to be poetic.)

But I AM DONE now.  Please end, already, deployment.  I want THE Chaplain home safely tomorrow morning as soon as I wake up.   I am SUCH a whimp.  So many of these Army wives have been through multiple year long deployments and I am done at 78 days.  But its not ALL my fault.   I have had some real struggles keeping up with getting everyone where they need to be, especially since its baseball season, keeping the house decent, keeping food in the house and actually cooking something besides KFC chicken or Whataburger, without all of the added stresses heaped on us lately.

The past couple of weeks have been horrible around Fort Hood.  My parents came into town for a visit, which was wonderful.  During their visit, not only does the The Most Epic Hailstorm fall upon us, but the Fort Hood shooting of 2014.  No wonder they didn't stay longer than 9 days.  

As far as the Epic Hailstorm goes... my "new" Mazda which I barely take out of the garage, was taken out for a trip to Lowe's.  I thought it might rain and my Jeep had no top on it that day (which is how it should be).  

No sooner had I stepped into the store with my dad, did it start to rain.
No.   It didn't rain.  The sky vomited  buckets of water and huge balls of ice upon the mere mortals who lived below. And the wind whipped around in crazy swirls and gusts threatening to blow everything in the town away.  I could almost see the Wicked Witch on her broom flying in the windy patterns.  It was like no other storm I have EVER seen.

I resigned myself to a car with broken windshields and a unrecognizable exterior.

It wasn't that bad, but it definitely needed to be fixed.  I was afraid to stress The Chaplain out by telling him about it before I got details.  He has much more important things to fix.  But today, I found out all will be well, because insurance is a good thing to have.

But WHY do these things happen when he is GONE?

I just don't want to deal with all that stuff anymore.  Being a Princess, I didn't even know if insurance would cover it.  And yes, I used my supposed princess status to add a picture of a real life princess in a lovely dress.

  I don't usually have to deal with car stuff.   Or unwinterizing the sprinkler system.  Or mowing lawns.  Or, well, even vacuuming.  (Yep he does that too, please don't judge me too harshly)  And since I am easily distractible it takes me twice as long to do anything. 

And then the shooting happened, which was such a terrible catastrophe for the whole community.....no the whole nation. But especially for those whose loved ones were touched.  We were not near the base when it happened, but those who were on base were locked down for several hours.  It was very chaotic.

Mostly, though, I just really miss him.    I miss hanging out with him every night.  

Ironically, in the midst of all of the craziness, there is indescribable natural beauty here in the Lonestar state.  The wildflowers are blooming everywhere.

Beautiful fields of every color imaginable.  I took a few photos of the bluebonnet fields, but they are not the ONLY flower in Texas.  There are bright orange red flowers called Indian paintbrushes.  And bright yellow daisies.  And other daisies which are yellow with coral red centers.  And regular daisies.  And light pink flowers I don't know the name of.  And there are unending fields of them everywhere.  When I see them I think "This is how the Other Land looks in C.S.Lewis' The Last Battle".

The fields get more lush and colorful, the closer you get to Hill Country or Salado or Austin.  Well, anywhere further from Fort Hood because the military experiments must have messed with the environment and all.  (JUST KIDDING!)  My point is, spring is absolutely beautiful in Texas and the flowers astound me every day.  I need to get photos of the "other flowers", too.  Texas is more than bluebonnets (please dont lynch me, Texan natives).   OH and the horses are beautiful too.  I still want my husband home, though.  Right away.

Confessions of A Lonely Girl

I have another secret confession.

I am a closet stuffer.  
Let me explain.  I like things neat and organized.  I like to have everything in order. But I also usually have multiple projects going on at any moment.  Plus, I often have days like this....

I believe I may have Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

Anyway, I usually end up with piles of papers and other odds and ends everywhere.  SO, being that I like the appearance of order, I stuff these piles of papers and other stuff in closets.  Any closet close by. Sometimes I stuff things in drawers too.  I try to limit this stuffing to only two "junk drawers".  Then at least I can pretend that my world is in order, because everything looks cleaned up.

This.... bothers me and stresses me out, and yet is my continual state of household order.

But when I stuff all that in a closet, I can try to forget about the chaos.

If you walk in my house and it looks all neat and clean and organized, its a LIE.
And please don't open any cupboards, closets or drawers.  Things may fall on you.



So, continuing on in the Epic Adventures of  The Lonely Girl, the past couple of days have been torturous due to my closet stuffing.  You see, when your spouse deploys, there are a few important papers that you MUST keep close by.

Most important, besides the Last Will and Testament is the Power of Attorney.

 Believe it or not, there are SO many things which you (if you are a spouse) cannot do without it!  This week, I needed to transfer the lien holder of the title to my Jeep.  We refinanced it a couple of months ago, and of course everything took longer than it should.  I had to go to the DMV with a car title in the name of my husband and try to do business.  No cigar!  If you do not have a Power of Attorney, they won't even talk to you, even though it is for all intents and purposes MY CAR!

I thought I knew where I put the piece of paper.  Since it was so important, I put it in a special place.   I KNEW that I needed it for multiple purposes. It was not where I thought it would be.  Or any of the other safe places I have.   I spent hours tearing apart every room and closet.  (I actually used the opportunity to organize each place I searched.  I can now walk into my walk in closet, thank you very much)

Finally, after fretting and stressing, and totally falling apart emotionally, I checked one more place.  My art supply closet.  I usually don't put papers in there, other than art paper, but hey, why not?  And miracle of miracles, a pile of random papers were in there!  I feverishly ripped through them and lo and behold, it was there!
I started to sing the Hallelujah Chorus and danced around a bit. After a prayer of thanks, I gathered my papers and fled to the DMV to be rid of the blasted title.

How did it end up there? See, my in laws had made a last minute trip to see  The Chaplain off to Afghanistan, and I had cleaned before they came.
Which meant that I gathered any papers laying around and STUFFED them into the closet.  That is what closet stuffers do.   

I think I could go on about how this is indicative of a spiritual matter.  Of a personality that likes to stuff all their sins and faults away and put on a mask or facade of perfection.
But this is not me.
I just like my house to look clean.
Someday, my dream is to have closets which are organized and pretty.

And I hope to not stuff everything in them.