The Return of Lonely Girl

A couple of months ago, when we thought that we were going to receive exciting news about a new adventure (we were up for a move)...we received news which were less than desirable.  Thee Chaplain (my dear husband) was going to be moved to another unit here on Fort Hood, and for the first nine months of the eighteen month assignment, he would be deployed to Korea.  (Not everyone has the wonderful privilege to be moved there as a family. It was not an option.)  If you know me, I like moving, and seeing new places, and house hunting, and everything that goes along with that.  So I was a little disappointed, but the staying here wasn't so bad.  This is a nice area, and I love my house and my friends here. The kids are stabilized, as well.

But the thought of a nine month separation, after a deployment last year, and the thought of being a single mom of teenagers for that long devastated me.  I know I am supposed to take it all in stride and accept whatever the Army gives us, but to be totally honest, initially I was not happy.  This how I felt..... I will call myself Silly Girl here.

A few years ago, in the height of the war, soldiers were deployed every other year.  But this is not then, and I am new to this life, I have not fully recovered from the last deployment.  And I was not even the one who went to war, so I know that I shouldn't be the one to complain. But, I know, sometimes it really is just as difficult, or more so, for the family at home.   The soldier has their mission to focus on, and they are busy flying around Afghanistan, seeking glory and honor, putting their life at risk for God and Country.  But those at home deal with kids who miss their dad or mom, they worry about the safety of their soldier, and of course everything goes wrong on the home front.  Last time, we had the Deadly Hailstorm of 2014, the second shooting on Ford Hood, and many other smaller catastrophes which you can read about in my older posts.  And long separations are not easy for any relationship, even for those people who have all the answers(please note irony in that statement) and help others with their marriages.

The purpose of this post is not to complain, although it may sound like I am whining. I know I have not dealt with half of what most of the military families have dealt with. Right now I have friends, whose spouses are deployed all over the world, some of them for a full year. 

I know that the kids and I will be fine, and it will be a chance for our characters to grow. Everyone knows that it is difficulty that make us stronger.

However, it IS nice to have a partner around the house to help you in times of trouble.  For example, one day, I was minding my own business, cooking something, like usual, and there was this huge, monstrous, poisonous SCORPION that decided to attack me. (Only in Texas....) I didn't see it, because I was concentrating on making perfect eggs, or something of the sort, but he did.  He saw it chasing me.  I mean, this thing wanted to poison me to death. 

Now, I would like to say that my dear husband did not hesitate at all to kill the beast about to harm me.   But we have been married for a while now, and for a very, very brief moment, he paused and thought about his options.

But, he did the truly courageous thing and grabbed the vacuum cleaner to kill the beast.  I drew him with a sword below, instead of a vacuum cleaner, because swords are cool.  And, if he had a sword, he would have used it in this situation.

 So, as you can see, he comes in useful. .He also signed up for a year contract with an exterminator the next day.  (If you know him, you know he doesn't like contracts or other people doing stuff around the house...he is diy all the way, so this was a huge step.)

My life right now is not about scorpions, its about teenagers.  Scorpions have nothing over the deadly venom of teenagers.  And I have very nice teenagers.  They are usually kind to each other,  and they are capable of having amazing deep conversations.  But, they ARE still teenagers. In addition, other difficulties have surfaced recently in our lives, which I don't have time to talk about here. Thee Chaplain is gifted with dealing with both the kids and situations, especially when my emotions get the better of me, he helps me put things in perspective.


Now, I know it doesn't help anyone to be defeated before the battle.  So, instead of sulking and being scared of the long nine months ahead of us, I decided that Lonely Girl will be have to make a comeback. During the last deployment, I wrote some blogposts concerning the adventures of Lonely Girl (who is really me, in case you didn't guess). Lonely Girl is a superhero of sorts.  She can tackle anything that comes along, and she is brave and strong.  Don't we all need an alter-ego at times to help us believe we can do difficult things?  So, here she is, LONELY GIRL... I think I have this under control, despite the misadventures and hurdles which may come this way.

Confessions of A Lonely Girl

I have another secret confession.

I am a closet stuffer.  
Let me explain.  I like things neat and organized.  I like to have everything in order. But I also usually have multiple projects going on at any moment.  Plus, I often have days like this....

I believe I may have Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

Anyway, I usually end up with piles of papers and other odds and ends everywhere.  SO, being that I like the appearance of order, I stuff these piles of papers and other stuff in closets.  Any closet close by. Sometimes I stuff things in drawers too.  I try to limit this stuffing to only two "junk drawers".  Then at least I can pretend that my world is in order, because everything looks cleaned up.

This.... bothers me and stresses me out, and yet is my continual state of household order.

But when I stuff all that in a closet, I can try to forget about the chaos.

If you walk in my house and it looks all neat and clean and organized, its a LIE.
And please don't open any cupboards, closets or drawers.  Things may fall on you.



So, continuing on in the Epic Adventures of  The Lonely Girl, the past couple of days have been torturous due to my closet stuffing.  You see, when your spouse deploys, there are a few important papers that you MUST keep close by.

Most important, besides the Last Will and Testament is the Power of Attorney.

 Believe it or not, there are SO many things which you (if you are a spouse) cannot do without it!  This week, I needed to transfer the lien holder of the title to my Jeep.  We refinanced it a couple of months ago, and of course everything took longer than it should.  I had to go to the DMV with a car title in the name of my husband and try to do business.  No cigar!  If you do not have a Power of Attorney, they won't even talk to you, even though it is for all intents and purposes MY CAR!

I thought I knew where I put the piece of paper.  Since it was so important, I put it in a special place.   I KNEW that I needed it for multiple purposes. It was not where I thought it would be.  Or any of the other safe places I have.   I spent hours tearing apart every room and closet.  (I actually used the opportunity to organize each place I searched.  I can now walk into my walk in closet, thank you very much)

Finally, after fretting and stressing, and totally falling apart emotionally, I checked one more place.  My art supply closet.  I usually don't put papers in there, other than art paper, but hey, why not?  And miracle of miracles, a pile of random papers were in there!  I feverishly ripped through them and lo and behold, it was there!
I started to sing the Hallelujah Chorus and danced around a bit. After a prayer of thanks, I gathered my papers and fled to the DMV to be rid of the blasted title.

How did it end up there? See, my in laws had made a last minute trip to see  The Chaplain off to Afghanistan, and I had cleaned before they came.
Which meant that I gathered any papers laying around and STUFFED them into the closet.  That is what closet stuffers do.   

I think I could go on about how this is indicative of a spiritual matter.  Of a personality that likes to stuff all their sins and faults away and put on a mask or facade of perfection.
But this is not me.
I just like my house to look clean.
Someday, my dream is to have closets which are organized and pretty.

And I hope to not stuff everything in them.  

Tale of a Lonely Girl

My husband left me on Tuesday.

So I am officially a single mom.

I knew he would, of course.  The signs were all there.  The late hours.  The emotional detachment.  .   I know I am not alone.  I know some of you know my pain.

It is impossible to compete when your husband's mistress is so attractive.  Somehow he was given the idea that all of his soul's longings would be filled.  Adventure, Honor, Duty, Sacrifice.....and recognition.  He even came home with coins.
You may have guessed (especially if you are a military spouse) that my husband's mistress is the United States Army!  He deployed this week and he is in Afghanistan.

I am really dreading the next few months because EVERY spouse of a soldier I have spoken to told of some catastrophe which happens during deployment.  Cars breakdown, kid's bones break, appliances explode, puking diseases, and dog emergencies are just a few I have heard about.  I am holding my breath.

I am actually looking forward to one aspect of the separation.  I want to prove to myself that I can do things on my own.  That I can fix catastrophes and make sure the family is running properly.

I am a newcomer to the military lifestyle.  So, I have teenagers and this is our first deployment.  That is not the norm.  My functioning in the culture is sometimes quite humorous.  Its a good thing I can laugh at myself!  For example, I sometimes forget what rank all the little symbols are. That can cause some problems.  Last week, we were at a predeployment function,  and a man with a little eagle on his uniform came up and started joking around with my hubby.  He asked me if my husband was ready for deployment, and I said (not realizing what the eagle meant), "Oh he can't wait!  He wants the adventure and the glory and honor!"  The brigade commander, the Colonel, laughed and said , "There's no adventure or glory over there!"  I probably would have been too nervous to say anything intelligible if I knew who he was, so its probably a good thing.

Needless to say, I am sure I will continue to have awkward moments.  Due to deployment, and I might just write them here.


Some other mishaps of the Lonely Girl as a Military Wife....


http://rambling-meditations.blogspot.com/
http://rambling-meditations.blogspot.com/2013_09_01_archive.html
http://rambling-meditations.blogspot.com/2013_07_01_archive.html