The Return of Lonely Girl

A couple of months ago, when we thought that we were going to receive exciting news about a new adventure (we were up for a move)...we received news which were less than desirable.  Thee Chaplain (my dear husband) was going to be moved to another unit here on Fort Hood, and for the first nine months of the eighteen month assignment, he would be deployed to Korea.  (Not everyone has the wonderful privilege to be moved there as a family. It was not an option.)  If you know me, I like moving, and seeing new places, and house hunting, and everything that goes along with that.  So I was a little disappointed, but the staying here wasn't so bad.  This is a nice area, and I love my house and my friends here. The kids are stabilized, as well.

But the thought of a nine month separation, after a deployment last year, and the thought of being a single mom of teenagers for that long devastated me.  I know I am supposed to take it all in stride and accept whatever the Army gives us, but to be totally honest, initially I was not happy.  This how I felt..... I will call myself Silly Girl here.

A few years ago, in the height of the war, soldiers were deployed every other year.  But this is not then, and I am new to this life, I have not fully recovered from the last deployment.  And I was not even the one who went to war, so I know that I shouldn't be the one to complain. But, I know, sometimes it really is just as difficult, or more so, for the family at home.   The soldier has their mission to focus on, and they are busy flying around Afghanistan, seeking glory and honor, putting their life at risk for God and Country.  But those at home deal with kids who miss their dad or mom, they worry about the safety of their soldier, and of course everything goes wrong on the home front.  Last time, we had the Deadly Hailstorm of 2014, the second shooting on Ford Hood, and many other smaller catastrophes which you can read about in my older posts.  And long separations are not easy for any relationship, even for those people who have all the answers(please note irony in that statement) and help others with their marriages.

The purpose of this post is not to complain, although it may sound like I am whining. I know I have not dealt with half of what most of the military families have dealt with. Right now I have friends, whose spouses are deployed all over the world, some of them for a full year. 

I know that the kids and I will be fine, and it will be a chance for our characters to grow. Everyone knows that it is difficulty that make us stronger.

However, it IS nice to have a partner around the house to help you in times of trouble.  For example, one day, I was minding my own business, cooking something, like usual, and there was this huge, monstrous, poisonous SCORPION that decided to attack me. (Only in Texas....) I didn't see it, because I was concentrating on making perfect eggs, or something of the sort, but he did.  He saw it chasing me.  I mean, this thing wanted to poison me to death. 

Now, I would like to say that my dear husband did not hesitate at all to kill the beast about to harm me.   But we have been married for a while now, and for a very, very brief moment, he paused and thought about his options.

But, he did the truly courageous thing and grabbed the vacuum cleaner to kill the beast.  I drew him with a sword below, instead of a vacuum cleaner, because swords are cool.  And, if he had a sword, he would have used it in this situation.

 So, as you can see, he comes in useful. .He also signed up for a year contract with an exterminator the next day.  (If you know him, you know he doesn't like contracts or other people doing stuff around the house...he is diy all the way, so this was a huge step.)

My life right now is not about scorpions, its about teenagers.  Scorpions have nothing over the deadly venom of teenagers.  And I have very nice teenagers.  They are usually kind to each other,  and they are capable of having amazing deep conversations.  But, they ARE still teenagers. In addition, other difficulties have surfaced recently in our lives, which I don't have time to talk about here. Thee Chaplain is gifted with dealing with both the kids and situations, especially when my emotions get the better of me, he helps me put things in perspective.


Now, I know it doesn't help anyone to be defeated before the battle.  So, instead of sulking and being scared of the long nine months ahead of us, I decided that Lonely Girl will be have to make a comeback. During the last deployment, I wrote some blogposts concerning the adventures of Lonely Girl (who is really me, in case you didn't guess). Lonely Girl is a superhero of sorts.  She can tackle anything that comes along, and she is brave and strong.  Don't we all need an alter-ego at times to help us believe we can do difficult things?  So, here she is, LONELY GIRL... I think I have this under control, despite the misadventures and hurdles which may come this way.

General Ramblings of an Army Wife

I am a little old to be new to the military lifestyle.  Most Army wives my age have spent the past 15-20 years acclimating to the culture.  Sometimes, I feel like I need a little help while navigating through our new life.  Up until this point I have two unwritten rules, which I explain later.

I was garage sale-ing ( is that a real word, even?) on Saturday and picked up a copy of this book to help me out.  I was so happy to have it all laid out in book form!

I got quite a deal, apparently.  I paid fifty cents, and Amazon lists it for $25.  

Anyone who truly knows me may ask...why do I want to follow the rules, not normally being a rule follower by nature? Mind you, I refuse to try to fit in for political gain.  I am not one who could ever  "kiss up" to further my husband's career.  That is my #1 unwritten rule.   I don't want to pretend to be someone I am not. However, engrained in my mind is something I read about how a military spouse is a  reflection of their soldier, and one should act accordingly. 

My #2 unwritten rule up until this point, since I am not really sure of all the proper etiquette, is to always wear a simple dress at any function, even if stopping by the office.  "You can never go wrong in a dress (I can hear my mother's words echo in my head)."

Well, let me just tell you that this book did me wrong last night!  Not tragically wrong.  No, I didn't embarrass the good name of my husband.  But I was a tad underdressed!  I was invited to a Farewell "Coffee" for the Brigade Commander's wife.  My husband is a battalion chaplain, so the Brigade Commander is a level above his commander, if that makes sense.  I am still learning how all the ranking works myself!  Above the Brigade Commander, is the Division Commander.  He is a General.  And it was the General's wife who was hosting.  The spouse who was moving on is one of the most gracious, kind and benevolent people I have ever met.  I have not been very good at attending spouse events, I usually make up excuses as to why I can't go.  Then I feel guilty afterwards.  I dread these social functions, which of course does not make me a very good Army wife.    But this event was different.

I wanted to attend this event because I really like the woman.  And after the last memorial service that James preached at, she genuinely raved about his homily.   His sermonette was a bit of a risk, and it was either going to be a total failure or a masterpiece.  He spoke about the video game, Call of Duty and tied the mission of the game in beautifully with how soldiers need to work together and be each other's lifeline. The soldier who died had been a huge gamer. Not everyone would appreciate James' mastery and his usage of a video game at such a somber event, but she commented about how his type of thinking is exactly what the soldiers needed.  Of course she was endeared to my heart after that.

The invitiation said the dress was Casual.  (Not Texas Casual, just Casual).  So, I looked up in the above book what Casual entails in the military lifestyle.   Jeans, sandals, pants, not sloppy, but CASUAL.  I got this, I thought.  I wore jeans, a nice tank, a pearl bracelet, I actually put on makeup and tamed my wild hair, too.  I looked presentable and fresh.  Minus the scarf and jacket (way too hot for that), my look was somewhat like the outfit below.

I arrive at the General's house and guess what?  There were spouses wearing cocktail dresses!  Not all, but a handful, and the majority of other women wore casual dresses.  There were a few women who wore pants and jeans, so I wasn't a total sore thumb.  I actually found it amusing.  Who wears a cocktail dress to a casual event anyway?  Perhaps since it was at a high ranking officer's house, any type of dress should be stepped up a notch.  I don't know, I am a little clueless, like I said before.

Oh, but the food!  It was amazing!  I wish I could have taken photos and shared them on pinterest.  The plates were beautiful and laid out in several rooms in a perfectly composed fashion.  

Here are some similar foods I found online...  cantalope in shot glasses

I had to have a tiny lamp chop!  I love lamb and rarely get a taste.

Marinated tomato and mozzerella kabobs...

And in every little nook were shot glasses filled with marinated shrimp and olives and cheese, tiny cups of middle eastern rice dishes and Mediterranean noodles.  Huge decadent brownies, as well.  

And some of these tiny grape leaf appetizers too.  

 The hostess was extremely friendly and approachable as well.   And seriously, no one was judging me based on what I wore.  I was able to spend some time speaking to several ladies I know pretty well.   And to top it off, I had a couple of sips of an amazing Jalapeno white wine!  Spicy and dry, and from Virginia, not a local winery.  

Yet another misadventure in the life of this Army wife.  My motto continues to be, "Live and learn and enjoy every day of this beautiful life!"

The Surreal Life

This is my third attempt to write this post. So much has happened this past week.

 I originally thought that I wouldn't have to write anything particular about my husband's job for me to write about our family's adventures.  I am not even sure how much is appropriate to discuss.  Of course, most details, I wouldn't even know.  There is a lot of confidentiality and all with his position.  And even now, I am not sure what is prudent or not.

But the tragedies which have hit James' battalion , and even his sister battalion, this past week are surreal.  And pointless.  And so extremely sad.  He will be holding his first memorial service within the next few days for three soldiers (one of them from the other battalion, two were his soldiers).  He has seen first hand what happens when despair and hopelessness take control of a person's heart and mind.  I don't really know how to support him or help him.  He is working hard at helping others with grief management, and host of other tasks that are before him.

On a positive note, he was able to give the invocation for a homecoming celebration on Sunday.  It was an incredible experience.  These soldiers were deployed for over a year, and the excitement and love in the building were so inspiring.  The funny thing is that as the soldiers entered, they did this smoke thing to build the excitement, and the fire alarms went off.  The whole ceremony (which was around 5 minutes long) was drowned out by the alarms, so no one heard a word of it.  Not that they would be listening anyway.... they hadn't seen their families for over a year!  Anyway, James can reuse the prayer he wrote and no one would know!

This weekend we will be going to San Antonio for a marriage retreat.  He will be teaching/facilitating the workshops or whatever they are called.  The Army believes that strong families = strong soldiers, so chaplains do a lot of marriage building events.  I am looking forward to taking some photos of some old missions and other sites.  I want to go see the Alamo too!